Single-Parent Tour of New York City

Like a lot of other moms and wives out there, I have a husband who travels quite frequently for work. Every once in a while, the kids and I will join him. The one negative in these tag-along-with-dad trips is that I am, for all intents and purposes, a single parent.

Being the lone parent on a trip typically doesn’t bother me, but when I took my two boys on their first trip to New York City, I learned a lot more about traveling with kids than I ever expected.


Things I should have known before leaving home:

1. One small piece of rolling luggage and a child-sized backpack is physically impossible for a seven-year-old to handle from the train station to the hotel without endless whining and complaining. Without Dad there to treat as a pack-mule, hauling all of our luggage around was a struggle. Packing one backpack each would have kept me from feeling like a side-show as we schlepped down the city streets.

2. Knowing which direction avenues and streets run will come in very handy. This will save a lot time, and keep the kids from screaming, “We’ve already seen THIS side!” as you circle Saint Patricks Cathedral for the third time while trying to figure out which street leads to Central Park. Keeping track of the kids while trying to read a map or phone isn’t easy; acquaint yourself with the street layout before leaving home.

3. Kids do not actually walk when the crosswalk signals that it is safe to do so. A child’s eyes will be on the surrounding buildings, or the man next you wearing headphones and singing a Rihanna song, they will NOT be on the crosswalk sign. Without that second set of eyes to keep track of everyone, you will eventually find yourself on the other side of the street from your child. The same child you JUST told to, “Stay close—and PAY ATTENTION.”

4. No matter how badly you want to warn your kids of the dangers lurking in a large city, do not overdo it. This will lead to a fear-induced state whenever they come across anyone who tries to interact with them. This includes waiters, coffee baristas, and even family members you’re having dinner with. A few safety tips will do, anything beyond that will lead to an embarrassing level of social awkwardness.

 

5. If you value personal hygiene – take a break. A mid-day break will keep the kids (and you) fresh and excited. (Sugar will also provide a short-term boost, but beware of the crash that follows.) New York requires a lot of walking, and as soon as I would stop to check a map or my phone, the kids immediately leaned on a public trash can or sat down on the sidewalk. Hand sanitizer was our friend—I think we went through three bottles.

6. No matter how horrible you think Times Square is, the kids will LOVE it, and want to stay there ALL NIGHT LONG. Having a plan of escape is crucial—I bribed my children with dessert.

7. Expect to gain a whole new appreciation for the city. Seeing New York through a child’s eyes is fascinating. My boys were enraptured with sights and sounds that I hadn’t noticed—while I was interested in vintage shops and patisseries, my boys were watching a young man play the drums on a five-gallon pail and counting the number of foreign languages they overheard.

I’m hopeful that remembering these tips the next time we head to NYC will make the trip a tad easier, but maybe we’ll just invite Dad to skip work and tag along with us instead.

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Protected: Assignment 4 – Destination Piece – NYC

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Protected: Assignment 4 – Personal Essay – New York City

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Protected: Friday Night

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Protected: Cup of Joe

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Choosing a Rental Home on Cape Cod

 

When I dream of Cape Cod, I dream of starting my day off with a cup of coffee on the sun drenched deck waiting for my family to rise before heading off to a day spent at the beach. I dream of returning to the house and racing to the outdoor shower, where I soak in the sounds of my boys enjoying a baseball game in the back yard.

Those simple moments make my family’s summer vacation memorable and special. Choosing the right home for everyone is vital to our stay. I rarely rent the same place twice, preferring to enjoy the element of surprise that awaits when I turn the key and swing open the front door. After a decade of renting, I know that when it comes time to book our vacation rental there are specific needs that have to be taken into consideration before signing on the dotted line.

Finding Your Place in the Sun.

First up, is narrowing down the search to a specific area of the Cape. Upper Cape? Outer Cape? The trip from the Bourne Bridge to Provincetown can easily take more than two hours in the car, you don’t want to renting a home in Mashpee only to discover that your teenage kids want to be on the ocean-side beaches all week.

The areas along Cape Cod are incredibly diverse — from Hyannis (which actually has a full-fledged shopping mall and multi-story hotels), to the highly-desirable (and equally expensive) town of Chatham, all the way to the quirky and more remote area of Truro. Taking some time to educate yourself about the various regions will help you narrow down your search. Sites such as OnCape.com offer more information regarding these locales and can help get you started.

Whatcha Gonna Do?

Once you think you have narrowed down your search to a region you need to become a bit more specific on what activities within that area are most important to you and your family. If, for example,  you selected the Lower Cape area — are you planning on spending most of you time on the quiet bay-side beaches which are so wonderful for young children? Perhaps you dream of starting off each morning on a leisurely bike ride and would enjoy being near the bike path? Or maybe shopping is your thing? Do the bright lights of nighttime baseball entice your family? Is being able to walk to the beach a top (and expensive) necessity?

Take some time and talk to those you are traveling with, see what their idea of the perfect day is and you’ll have a much better understanding of where your priorities lie.  Most rentals are sure to advertise their proximity to bike paths or the ability to walk to town.

No Deck? No Deal.

A deal-breaker for my family is the outdoor shower. I can live without a garage (but would rather not), I can handle giving up an extra bathroom, and air-conditioning is not a necessity. But the outdoor shower is non-negotiable. I know I am truly on vacation when I find myself sipping a margarita in the dappled sunshine looking up at the summer sky as the water washes the clingy beach sand and salt water away. Beyond the basics of bedrooms and baths are the amenities that can add a real sense of peace to your stay.

Is a charcoal grill an absolute must? Planning on dining al fresco? You’ll need a deck with furniture for that. Perhaps a garage to store your kayaks? How about a private back yard for the kids and adults to hold a family wiffle ball game? Sites such as WeNeedAVacation.com allow you to search based on amenities which can be a huge help.

Ask and You Shall Receive.

Without fail, once I’ve narrowed my selection down to a few properties, I come to realize that I need additional information on several them. Often rental listings don’t provide exact addresses, for obvious reasons, but I’ve found out that by simply emailing and expressing your interest you can usually request the location and pull it up on a map to figure out if a “15 minute walk to the beach” actually requires crossing a four lane road or not.

You can also take the opportunity to make sure what is listed is actually what is provided. I always confirm with the owner that there is a fully enclosed and functioning outdoor shower. I also frequently request images or information regarding anything else I may be curious about such as the backyard or deck. Most owners are more than accommodating if they have the photos on hand and depending upon their response I may or may not cross that home off my list. On Vacation Rentals By Owner (vrbo.com) you deal directly with each owner and can ask questions via email before committing.

Inner Beauty.

After you’ve done all the above you can begin to look at the home’s decor, but my personal experience that the color of the bedspreads and the curtains have rarely been a factor in the enjoyment my family has experienced. (As long as the home is clean.) I’ve stayed in a sparse cottage on the Cape and a professionally decorated newly built home on Martha’s Vineyard and had an amazing time in both. I encourage you to look beyond the decorating and focus on the features that the home provides.

By following a few of these tips and getting in tune with what your traveling companions expect out of your stay you can find a place to call home that meets all of your vacationing needs. And don’t forget to have a margarita in the outdoor shower for me.

(This article is aimed towards helping you choose a home that your family will enjoy. Please do not forget to research articles on how to handle the payment/refund/cancellation policies that go along with renting a house.)

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Check back often for updates and design changes!

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